on homeschooling, part III

Well, a few weeks ago, our family went to the “kindergarten round-up” at our local elementary school, in our continuing effort to discern whether we should send our oldest to public school next year or not.

I honestly thought that once we went and heard about the programs and toured the classrooms, that our minds would be made up, and that I’d be able to send Bess there with a light heart.

“I thought this would help me know what to do!” I cried to my husband, as we left the multi-purpose room and headed towards the classrooms.

“I think it has,” he said, “it just didn’t help you the way you wanted it to.”

And that’s the truth of it. Sitting through that kindergarten round-up meeting felt like sitting through a meeting where they were trying to sell me time shares. High-pressure pushing of a product that really didn’t sound like anything I’d want to buy. “We have kindergarteners publishing stories! We have third-graders starting businesses! Does anyone need the before-school daycare to open at 6:30 rather than 7? Make sure you read to your child; make sure you give her a good breakfast and we’ll do the rest!” (I paraphrase, but indulge me.)

And then there was the assurance that being an all-day kindergarten meant that they had time “to do the fun stuff too”. Which made me wonder, what do you think we do at home?

All in all, it felt like they were trying to be everything to their students, when what I wanted them to be was just a school. I'm okay sending my kids to a school. I'm not okay sending my kids to an whole other life.

And I know that many kids probably, sadly, do need the school to be everything to them. But my kids have parents, and while I’m glad to let someone else school them, I am not willing to have someone else parent them. That is my job. More than that, it’s my vocation and my duty and my joy.

So, we are going to homeschool Bess for kindergarten.

Is this a decision to homeschool all our kids for all time? No. I still think that they will end up in the public school system at some point. I still think there is great value in learning to navigate through life among people who don’t believe what you believe or act the way you wish that they would act.

But there are two big reasons why this is not the year for that for us.

1) Bess. Much of it comes down to this one child and what would be best for her as a person, this year. While I think she would do well in a three-hour kindergarten program (like they used to have), I think that she would do badly in this high-intensity, all-day environment. She’s the sort who would get revved-up and not come down easily. Day after day after day. I think that being gone almost as long each day as her father is gone for work would wear her down. She would also be, because of her birthday, one of the younger children in the program, which is not an enviable position. Finally, because of our crazy year this last year, I think she could benefit from at least one more year at home – a year where we don’t have two infants taking up an inordinate share of her parents’ energy.
2) I’ve long believed public schooling can be done well, and can be done poorly. I’ve also long believed that homeschool can be done well, and can be done poorly. This year, I think we would do public schooling worse than we would do homeschooling. With three young children at home, I simply could not be the involved parent that I think public school parents need to be. It’s quite possible that once the twins are five or older I might put all the kids in public school, because then I will be free to volunteer in their classrooms, go to events, conference easily with teachers, etc. But I can’t do that right now. This year, I would make a better homeschool parent than I would a public school parent.

So now? Now I have a lot of research to do! I’m glad we’ve made this decision now, so that I have time to read up on all of this, to look into extra-curriculars in our neighborhood, and to think and pray about how best to do this new venture. It’s convenient that in California schooling is not compulsory till age 6, so I can make this year’s experiment without any restrictions. There are no official lines that I must toe, though I plan on making sure that Bess is competent in all the areas outlined in the California education guidelines for kindergarteners. I don’t think that will be hard, as she’s already halfway there. But it’s nice to have a year to try and get our footing, and see if this is something that will work for us, without there being any huge penalty if we fail.

So, if you have any advice for where to start (right now I’m reading Family Matters: Why Homeschooling Makes Sense, and have The Well-Trained Mind also on my reading list), I’d be glad to hear it.

Also, for any of the homeschool moms who read this who are also writers, or who pursue another avocation, I’m very interested in how you find time for that avocation in the middle of homsechooling. It does seem to me like it won’t be much different from how I find time for it now (not as often as I like, and only with great self-discipline and sacrifice), since I’ll just be replacing some play time with some study time (and those two things aren’t that different at this age), but I’m aware that every time you add something to your life, something else must go to make room for it. What are the trade-offs? How do you make them? Any tips?

Thanks again to everyone who commented and conversed with me as we made this decision. I don’t know where this path is going to lead in the years to come, but I’m glad to know what we’re doing this year. I hope we do it well. I think, with God’s help, we will.

Peace of Christ to you,
Jessica Snell