Thursday, August 6, 2009

Almost Done

Next Sunday is our last Sunday at our parish, and though I have a few more things I'm planning on posting about that situation, including our letter to the vestry, I think I'm almost done.

But before I post those last few, I wanted to say something, just in case it hasn't been clear:

I love the people of my parish. When I've mentioned that I'm glad our family is almost out of the Episcopal Church, I do not mean that I'm glad that I'm leaving the people in our parish. I'm heartbroken about that. I don't talk about the heartbroken part that much, because, as someone smart once said: you can't fix normal. I can't make the heartbreak go away - it's a normal emotional response - so I don't talk about it much; I just accept it.

When I say, "I'm glad it's almost over," I mean that I'm glad the stress of it will be over soon. When you've something awful to go through, it's nice when you reach the other side and don't have it looming over you anymore.

So, that's that. I am glad it's almost over. I'm still not glad it's happening.

peace of Christ to you,
Jessica Snell

4 comments:

Becks said...

You know, when we left, we just felt really empty inside, and we bopped around from church to church, looking for the right place for us. Then (like 2 years later) we finally PRAYED about where to go, and we felt like we needed to move to Huntington Beach and go to Rock Harbor (which is about as opposite of BS as it gets!).

But when we went there for the first time, we wept. I didn't realize just how much we had been missing. I didn't realize what a climate of anger and hatred and pain had been shrouding us in the episcopal church. And no, it wasn't the individual people at that parish; those people were wonderful, and I am happy to still call many of them friends. But you can't be a member of a body and try to be a different kind of being from that body. The problems with the larger church were still trickling down on us, and we needed to leave. And it was the right decision. It was hard, but we wept when we were finally able to feel the Holy Spirit filling us again.

Kerry said...

Praying, Jessica.

And after reading Becks' comment above, I can certainly echo those thougts. While we left with a large number of our previous parish, it was amazing how freed we felt when we began worshiping as a new body together. There really is something about "anger and hatred and pain" trickling down through TEC.

Our new church isn't perfect (of course), but I don't feel the spirit of oppression that I did while we were in TEC. Many of my fellow parishioners felt the same way.

Jessica said...

Thanks for sharing this. I especially appreciate your point that you can't be a member of a body and then try to be a different kind of being from that body.
It's over for us now (except for sending our letter - already written - to the vestry, explaining why we left). And though I cried through the end of the service Sunday, I felt lighter when I got home. I'm sorry it took you so long to find a new home after you left, but so glad you've found a good one.

Jessica said...

Kerry, thanks also for your comment. It's good to know there's hope ahead, and that the oppression we've experienced is really there. (Not good that it's there, but nice to know our perceptions aren't off.)