On Friday, my family and I went to Sam’s Club, and Bess, our oldest, was dressed in a bright purple t-shirt, bright orange-and-pink-striped shorts, hot pink boots and sunglasses. Yes, she dressed herself.
A friendly older couple commented on her outfit and laughed, saying that their daughter used to do something similar when she was little. Then they realized they recognized me, and introduced themselves as the parents of one of my friends from middle school. So we stopped and chatted, and I asked how their son was doing and they asked about my kids. On hearing that Bess was turning five, they asked where she was going to go to school.
“Oh, we’re planning on homeschooling her for kindergarten.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, our local kindergarten only offers full-day, and it’s a very frantic atmosphere – so high pressure. I just don’t think it’s appropriate for a five-year-old.”
It was at that point that the lady of the couple reminded me of something that I’d forgotten – but that I should have remembered from seeing her last name on posters all over town around election time: she’s on the school board.
Whoops.
I really didn’t mean to criticize the local public schools to a member of the school board, who no doubt works very hard to make them good public schools. I felt a little badly, especially as, after that, her husband kept chatting with us, but she stayed mostly silent. (Her husband was assuring us that our local school was an excellent one, to which our answer was, I think, “yes, we’ve heard that.” Unspoken was, I suppose, “but we don’t agree.” The conversation really did end on a friendly note – but the lady really did look pretty put out.)
But, on reflection, the fact that I gave my reaction to the school before knowing who she was probably was a good thing. I bet most school board members don’t get honest feedback from homeschooling parents – if they get any at all. Maybe, if it ever comes up, talking to me might encourage her to vote for restoring half-day kindergarten?
I still feel a bit badly about it. But it’s the kind of random encounter that you just can’t quite view as random. So, who knows what will come of it? Good things, I hope.
3 comments:
Well, I think your comments and opinions should be highly valued by that lady seeing as they came from someone who obviously had no strategic reason for saying what you did.
I think it is a blessing that she heard your opinion - maybe she will take it to heart!
It's really a shame, I think. Pre-K is what Kindergarten used to be back in the day. Children are more and more being pushed to "achieve" and not so much to learn.
I struggle with those situations, too. You want to say enough to explain your choice, but not seem like you're trying to justify it, and you don't want to insult your conversation partner, but you also don't want to be dishonest and come up with a fake reason to spare their feelings, either. I think your answer was perfect: concise and honest. You don't think the environment is appropriate for a child of that age. Period. No judgment there, just fact. Hopefully she can internalize it as she goes along and see whether it's a problem for other kids, too.
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