Four Under Four Made Easier

On the homemaking part of homemaking through the church year, I thought I'd share a list of things that makes being a stay-at-home mom to four children under four years old easier. Some of these I picked up from smarter people, but I don't remember who all to credit. I don't have a ton of experience mothering this many littles - only 2 /12 months so far! - but I thought some of the things we do might be things other people would find helpful. These range from little, simple things that make life easier to deep, simple things that are indispensable. So, here's the list:

1. Clothes pajamas. This one I see to remember comes from Amy of Amy's Humble Musings. The idea is that you dress your children at night in what you want them to wear tomorrow. This is easier in warmer weather when they're just going to be wearing nice soft shorts and tees, or just onsies. So you have to change diapers in the morning, but not whole outfits. Honest, this is a wonderful, wonderful thing when you have four to get dressed and fed upon waking (not to count yourself!).

2. Slings/mei-tei's/other baby carriers. At least the one (or two) in the carrier is going to be happy. And don't just put the babies in them. Toddlers and preschoolers like being on mommy's back or hip too. I walked towards my husband's workplace to meet him on his way home this week, with the twins snuggled in the back of the double stroller, my son in the front and my oldest girl on my hip, sitting in a sling. It was a great time to talk to her, because she had my ear all to herself.

3. Baby swing. Mine's called a "Magical Mobile Swing." And it is. Magical. If putting Anna in it for five minutes means I can get the older ones down for their nap without listening to a baby scream while I do it, well, who am I to deny us that golden silence? (Honestly, I always feel a little strange about using a machine to calm a baby, but if it helps her fall asleep when she's really sleepy and just can't get there in this heat, or if it calms her down the five minutes it takes for me to get something necessary done before I can give her my full attention, well, it's a kindness, and not neglect. I'm sure baby swings can be misused, but used well, they're a blessing not just for mom, but for baby too.)

4. Menu planning. This means that I can make dinner a few minutes here, a few minutes there - even doing chopping a day ahead of time, if that's where I find time to do it. Because I know what we're having for the next couple of weeks, I don't have to do the prep all at once, but can fit it in to those odd spaces where I'm not nursing. (You nurse a LOT when you've two newborns instead of one.)

5. Audiobooks. Especially the Bible. I listen to the Alexander Scourby version (highly recommended if you're okay with King James; Scourby's a British radio actor who reads it beautifully, and you can get it on MP3 cd from Amazon for less than $20). I listen to it in the dark at night while I nurse the babies. It's such a good time, sitting there, feeding my twins and listening to the Word of God. Peaceful and good.

6. Pre-filling sippy cups. This is for the older ones. But I put sippy cups full of milk in the fridge at night and my oldest loves getting them out all by herself for her and her brother, and if I'm a little late getting breakfast on the table, the milk holds them over till our first meal of the day.

7. My husband. As Dr. Laura says, "Choose wisely, treat kindly." I recommend having done the first and continuing to do the second. If I was to write all of the wonderful things my husband has done during the twin pregnancy and this twin newborn period, Blogger would kick me off for using up all their disk space. But honestly, this time in our life has kicked so much of the pettiness out of our relationship. We just don't have the energy to get self-righteously annoyed at each other anymore (something I was much more prone to than he ever was anyway). Our fights now go something like this:

"I'm sorry, that was a nasty look I gave you."
"Yeah, it was. But I kinda deserved it. I just didn't want to do what you asked."
"Yeah, I understand. I mean, I really understand. I wouldn't've wanted to do it either."
"I know. Believe me, I know."
"So we both acted badly there."
"Yep. Sorry."
"Me too."
"Okay."

I mean, can you get more low-key about realizing you're sinful and owe each other repentance and forgiveness? It's great. Twin-exhaustion's being good for our spiritual walks. We're just too tired to persist in snottiness. It's easier to be kind, and I'm hoping the habit sticks after we start getting more sleep.
You know, a year from now.

8. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends. Seriously, don't just say "yes" when someone asks if you want help. Schedule when they're going to come over. And then seek out help on top of that. To quote Bujold, "I want three volunteers: you, you and you."
I used to hate to ask for help. I still hate it. I do it anyway. Why? Because I need it. I'm still not convinced that human mothers were meant to have litters, and that means, should God bless you with a litter, that you're going to need more than just you to take care of it. (No, babies are not puppies, but there are striking similarites! Chiefly: noise, mess and cuteness.)

9. Perspective. One of my mottos this past few months has been, "As long as by this time next year it IS next year, then I will be okay." In other words, as long as the 24 hours in each day keep ticking away at the pace they always have, I'll survive. If I can count on having one more day done when I get to the end of the day, well, then I can keep going. The idea that time might slow down is the real nightmare scenario, but as I learned during my 40 day hospital stay, everything does eventually come to an end. This is a great comfort during some very hard days. It won't last forever. And there is heaven at the end.

10. Prayer. Pray always, pray without ceasing. You cannot parent without God's parenting of you. Ask for his help, beg for his help, and when your prayers that they will JUST SLEEP aren't answered, pray for his help to take care of them and love them anyway. Thank him that they're here. Thank him for giving you food and shelter and family. Ask him to keep providing for you. Tell him you can't do it without him. Ask him to do it with you. Praise him for his inestimable love in the redemption of the world through our Lord Jesus Christ. Sing hymns to him through the day. Call him "Father" as you lay down to sleep at night. Mother of twins, of one, of more, of none, God alone can sustain you through this life.

peace of Christ to you,
Jessica Snell